When Stuff That Would Never Really Happen Does
by PhAnToM PhIrE and TYBA
Summary: One-shot. Like the title says. Slight InuKag at the end. R R PLEASE! Flames are welcome...


Hi ppl! This is another one of my stupid one-shot fictions, so it's all random humor, although there is some Inu/Kag fluff at the end. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha! HA! YOU CAN'T SUE ME!!  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
When Everything Goes Wrong.  
A one-shot humor by Falcon  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was a normal day in the feudal era.  
  
Shippo was playing with Kirara,  
  
Sango was beating the shit out of Miroku for groping her.  
  
And Inuyasha and Kagome, were as always, fighting over pointless things.  
  
"OSUWARI!!!" Kagome screamed.  
  
"I DO ALL THIS STUFF FOR YOU AND THIS IS WHAT I GET!!" Inuyasha yelled back.  
  
"LIKE WHAT STUFF?"  
  
"A LOT MORE THAN YOU!! YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING!!"  
  
"I do too!!"  
  
"LIKE WHAT?!?"  
  
"I travel with you guys, I find the shards for you guys, I clean up, I cook lunch~"  
  
"You can't make a decent lunch!!"  
  
"You can't even make a ham sandwich!!" Kagome yelled.  
  
"I can too!! And chicken is better!!" Inuyasha yelled back.  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is not!!"  
  
"Is too!!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Scientific studies show that 50% of America's obese children eat ham sandwich in their lunches! Studies also prove that 10% of pork meat is fat and therefore chicken is ultimately a better choice!!"  
  
By now Miroku and Sango had stopped fighting and were watching. This is what they looked like:  
  
Miroku Sango Kagome Inuyasha OO OO OO T.T  
  
"Well. . . YEAH??" Kagome yelled.  
  
"YEAH!!"  
  
". . . oh."  
  
Silence.  
  
". . ."  
  
". . ."  
  
"HOW DID WE FUCKING START TALKING ABOUT LUNCH?" Inuyasha yelled.  
  
"I DON'T KNOW!! AND WATCH YOUR LANGAUGE!!" Kagome screamed.  
  
"I CAN FUCKING TALK ANY FUCKING WAY I WANT TO BITCH!!" Inuyasha yelled.  
  
Kagome pulled a roll of duct tape out of her pocket and taped his mouth shut. "Now you can't." she smirked.  
  
Sango and Miroku watched with interest.  
  
Inuyasha looked like he was struggling.  
  
Kagome smirked.  
  
Suddenly Inuyasha's eyes turned blood red and the tape ripped off by itself. "@(#*)#%&(@^$@^&#$^%)@*#$_!@_@#%+#*%)(#&$%(*^(#*^$)#&*&#)(&%)&#&%#(&)@$+*%#& !!" he screamed.  
  
What he said would have made a sailor proud.  
  
His eyes turned amber again. . .  
  
And they promptly started fighting.  
  
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!" Kagome screamed.  
  
"MY FAULT? HOW'S THIS MY FAULT?" Inuyasha yelled.  
  
"IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT WE STARTED TALKING ABOUT LUNCH MEAT ANYWAY!!" Kagome yelled.  
  
"YEAH? WELL IT'S YOUR FAULT THERE'S A PINK, FLUFFY, AND HORRIBLY CUTE BUNNY BEHIND YOU!!"  
  
"YEAH? WE~ WHAAAT?"  
  
They turned around and sitting there behind them was a cute, pink, fluffy, cuddly, and any other synonym for unbelievably cute, bunny. It had big dewy eyes and blinked innocently at them.  
  
"It's so cute!!" Kagome squealed.  
  
She walked forward to pick up the bunny~  
  
But suddenly the bunny popped up on two legs, pointing a carrot gun at Kagome that came from a holster no one saw, and was wearing a pink army vest stuffed with an impressive collection of high-degree explosives.  
  
The bunny cackled evilly.  
  
The bunny cackled???  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???" Inuyasha yelled.  
  
The bunny cackled some more. "You're coming with us!" he laughed manically. "Come, my minions!" he called behind him.  
  
Busting through the forest came legions and legions of pink, fluffy cute bunnies, all armed with tons of cool explosives and cute evil grins painted on their faces.  
  
"THE CUTENESS!! IT'S TOO MUCH!!" Inuyasha yelled, trying to cover his eyes.  
  
Miroku eyes them too. "What kind of unholy manner of creature is this!? It must be exorcised!"  
  
The bunny laughed some more. "WE ARE THE CUTE PINK POWDER PUFF FLUFF BUNNIES, AND OUR DEATH!!"  
  
"What do you want?" yelled Sango, shielding her eyes with her boomerang.  
  
"YOU'RE COMING WITH US!!" It cackled. He suddenly pulled something out of his pocket and threw it at them.  
  
"GET BACK!" Sango yelled. She fought valiantly, but suddenly there was an, "AUGH!!" and she fell down.  
  
The rest of the group hurried over. . .  
  
And saw she and her boomerang were covered in cute rainbow stickers.  
  
"Sango!" Kagome yelled.  
  
Suddenly the evil bunny leader through some smiley stickers Inuyasha. They burned through his red fire rat haori, but the bunny leader was surprised it didn't kill/paralyze him.  
  
"It takes more than that to take me down!!" Inuyasha yelled.  
  
"Really?" The bunny cackled. Suddenly it threw RAINBOW SMILEY Stickers at him.  
  
"AAAHH!!" Inuyasha barely dodged them, but he tripped and landed on his ass. He scooted back as the bunny advanced on him.  
  
"Now!" The bunny cackled. "LOOK AT THIS!!"  
  
He stuck a unbelievably cute picture of puppies and fluffy bunnies playing together in a beautiful flower meadow with butterflies.  
  
"MY EYES!" Inuyasha screamed. "THEY BURN!!"  
  
The bunny cackled. "NOW THERE IS NO ESCAPE!!"  
  
He pulled out his carrot gun. . .  
  
Aimed. . .  
  
And Inuyasha pulled Miroku in front of him.  
  
The rainbow beam hit him full force and he went down.  
  
"Miroku!" Kagome cried. She rushed over to see him.  
  
Inuyasha stuck the tetsusaiga in the ground and rocked against it. "I'm scared for life," he mumbled under his breath. He buried his head into his fire rat sleeves and tried to think up as many bloody, gory, battle scenes he could.  
  
Miroku was covered in rainbow and smiley stickers and was twitching jerkily. "The spell(teeheehee)will soon(giggle)take me over(bats his eyelashes)run Kagome and Inuyasha(giggle giggle)."  
  
Kagome grabbed Inuyasha's arm and tried to pull him up. "Come on Inuyasha!" she panicked. "We have to go!"  
  
"You're going nowhere!" the bunny leader cackled. "NOW, MY MINIONS!!"  
  
Kagome and Inuyasha were suddenly surrounded by a veritable sea of cute fluffy perfection.  
  
"AHH!!" Kagome and Inuyasha screamed before they blacked out.  
  
~*~*~*~*  
  
Inuyasha woke up and slowly opened his eyes.  
  
Pink poofy chairs.  
  
Purple fluffy carpeting.  
  
Rainbow wallpaper with pink fluffy bunnies marching across it.  
  
"Good god," he whispered. "I'm in hell. . ."  
  
He found out he was strapped to a chair.  
  
Suddenly the bunny leader popped up in his face.  
  
"MUWAHAHAHAHAH!!" the bunny cackled.  
  
Inuyasha gulped and squeezed his eyes closed. Who knows what kind of ungodly torture they would put him through?  
  
Suddenly an arrow flew out of nowhere and burned though the straps of the chair. Inuyasha jumped up, free and stared.  
  
Kagome was shooting her way through the bunny ranks, making her way towards him.  
  
"Inuyasha!" she yelled. "We have to get out!"  
  
"I know!" Inuyasha and Kagome stood back-to-back, staring at the bunnies, ready to move. Inuyasha scanned the room.  
  
They were in the pink powder puff fluff bunny's palace.  
  
Then he saw a hatch on the ceiling.  
  
"Hang on!" he yelled. He grabbed Kagome and started wall kicking off the pillars to the top of the ceiling. (It you've played any Mario games like Mario 64 or Mario sunshine, you know what I mean by wall-kicking) He wrapped one arm and one leg around the top of the pillar and placed his other foot in a convient foothold.  
  
"Can you reach the hatch?" Inuyasha yelled.  
  
"I'll try!" Kagome reached out, winding her leg around the pillar to make sure she didn't fall.  
  
The pink powder puff fluff bunny king was mad. "GET THEM!!" he ordered.  
  
Suddenly the bunnies began multiplying and they turned into a sea of bunnies, crashing in waves and trying to pull Inuyasha and Kagome down .  
  
"It's stuck!" Kagome whined.  
  
"how the fuck do we defeat them?" Inuyasha asked in a frustrated voice.  
  
Suddenly Sesshomaru and his crew showed up in the door. "Stupid hanyou," he sneered. "It's obvious that the only way to defeat the cute powder puff fluff bunnies is to show them something cuter than themselves!" Then he disappeared, but not before punting Jaken (A/N: DIE TOAD!!) into the mass of bunnies.  
  
Inuyasha got an idea.  
  
He kicked off the wall and landed on the platform, arm still wrapped around Kagome and stared as the bunnies made their way over. He whispered something in Kagome's ear and she blushed, giggled and whispered back.  
  
The bunny king had a plan formulated. He would slow torture the boy and his girl and then make them his mindless slaves.  
  
Suddenly Inuyasha dipped Kagome into kiss.  
  
The weaker rank bunnies began disintegrating into. . .  
  
Pink marshmallow Easter bunnies!!  
  
The stronger evil bunnies made their way over.  
  
Inuyasha wrapped his arms around Kagome's waist and Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck, leaving one arm to travel up his hair and rub his ears.  
  
More bunnies disintegrated.  
  
Only the leader bunny was left. He howled angrily. "NOO!!" he yelled. "MY PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION THROUGH CUTENESS IS RUINED!!!" He pulled out his last weapon ~ a carrot bomb and prepared to chuck it at the couple. . .  
  
When they stopped kissing, eyes still closed and noses touching, Kagome giggling and Inuyasha purring happily before starting again.  
  
The extreme cuteness killed the stern will last bunny lord.  
  
"NOOOOO!!!" he shrieked before being reduced to a blubbering pink mass.  
  
Sango and Miroku walked in though a convient hole in the wall and observed everything. Suddenly they saw the bunny marshmallows beginning to regenerate into bunnies.  
  
"We have to get rig of them!" Miroku cried.  
  
Then Sango got a brilliant idea.  
  
"Shippo!" she called. "MARSHMALLOWS!!"  
  
In a blur of teal and rusty red the little kitsune was eating his way through the tasty ranks.  
  
Sango and Miroku turned to Inuyasha and Kagome, who were still making out.  
  
Sango sweatdropped. "Um, you guys can stop now. . ." she suggested.  
  
Not like they listened.  
  
Shippo advanced on the bunny lord.  
  
"N-no! Stop! I'll do a-anything!! Just let me l-live!" he cried.  
  
Inuyasha and Kagome stopped for a minute. They looked at each other, grinned identical evil smiles, and said, "Anything?"  
  
Sango and Miroku shivered.  
  
~*~* An hour later *~*~  
  
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"  
  
The camera shifts to the dead miko bitch~ I mean, kikyo, who tripped over a tree root and stumbled back.  
  
"Go, my fiends!!" The evil bunny lord cackled.  
  
Kikyo had little pink bows all over in her hair, rainbow stickers stuck all over her body, and a smiley drawn on one cheek.  
  
The bunny lord cackled and his minions walked forward.  
  
~*~* Back to the others *~*~  
  
So Sango and Miroku left the palace through the conviently placed hole, Shippo continued eating marshmallows, and Kagome and Inuyasha continued making out.  
  
And Kikyo died of the cuteness.  
  
And they were all very happy.  
  
~*~* Das End *~*~  
  
Okay, so it wasn't that funny at the end, but if you like Inuyasha + Kagome as much as I do then it's okay, right? Well, it's just another one of my stupid attempts at humor, and I warned you guys that it would be stupid so. . . hey, you were warned beforehand.  
  
There is no offense meant to the ppl that love bunnies.  
  
This story idea came to me when I was going to sleep.  
  
If you liked this story, please read my other one, 'Demon Within'. It's going to be an Inu/Kag too, but it's got more angst and is a lot more serious. I'm working on chapter eight for that story!!  
  
Well. . . I just reached the tip of 9 pages. . . not bad, considering it's ME where's talking about. . .  
  
Well, as always, read + review!!  
  
Ciao,  
  
~Falcon 


End file.
